· There must be some mistake.

· I didn’t mean to let them take away my soul.

· Am I too old? Is it too late? - Roger Waters

I have always believed that in the lives of individuals, just as in society at large, the profoundest changes take place within a very reduced time frame. When we least expect it, life sends us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change. And at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will no wait.

I believe that joy is sometimes a blessing, but it's often a conquest. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments – but this is all transitory, and it leaves no permanent mark IF we don't let it. And one day we will look back with pride at the journey we have taken - wearing our scars as metals for having the courage to have tried.

I believe we have to take risks in life. Every day we are given one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist – that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. Pathetic is the person that is afraid of taking risks. Maybe this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned, maybe he won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back at his life, surely he will suffer. And he will hear his heart saying "What have you done with the days that you were given? What have you done with your talents?

I've realized there are a couple things that prevent us from achieving our dreams: believing them to be impossible or seeing those dreams made possible by some sudden turn of the wheel of fortune, when we least expect it. For at that moment, all our Fears suddenly surface - the Fear that society places in each on of us during childhood. Fear of being alone, Fear based politics, Fear based religion, Fear of our imaginations with devils, Fear of God's judgment, of what other people would say, of the law punishing any mistake we make. Fear of trying and failing, Fear of succeeding and having to live with the envy of other people, Fear of loving and being rejected. Fear of asking for a raise in salary, Fear of accepting an invitation, of going somewhere new, of not being able to speak a foreign language. Fear of setting off alone along a road heading who knows where. Fear of a life full of new challenges, and of not making the right impression. Fear of growing old, of dying, of being pointed out because we are different. Fear, Fear, Fear. Fear of losing forever everything that we thought was true.

I've spent a large part of my life enslaved to one thing or another. Ever since I was a child, I have fought to make freedom my most precious commodity. I fought with kids at school because I didn't value the "rules" of being in the “cool kids” group. I fought to get a job to support myself. I fought against the world of Wall St. where too many of us sacrifice our families and our souls for our employers. I fought against what "society" deemed appropriate and all the pointless red tape. I fought against the truths I was told, and believed in truths that I witnessed. I fought for the courage to leave my first, second, third, fourth, and fifth job in investment banking to one day focus on careers photojournalism and filmmaking - knowing full well that very few people make a good living in photography and story telling. And I've learned that this scenario in my life will keep recurring as long as I refuse to risk everything for what I believe in.

I believe that unhappiness is a choice, not a life long sentence. When we’re ready, life will lead us to a better place. When we accept the events that take place around us, and trust our hearts to lead us to that better place, eventually we'll find the path that has been waiting for us. When we force or resist the natural flow of life and energy, we disrupt the natural direction of our hearts which will only lead us to additional unhappiness. When our minds succumb to fear, the heart loses, and emptiness surely follows. It is important to remember that we cannot become who we need to be by remaining who we are. If we aren’t satisfied with our current situations, we only have ourselves to blame for not pursuing a more fulfilling life. We are not victims. We are powerful individuals that can change our lives with two simple words – “I surrender”, not to the world but to our hearts. I’ve learned that it’s better to feel everything – the good and the bad – than to feel nothing at all. To be numb is to be dead.

I think we have two great problems - the first is knowing when to begin, and the second is knowing when to end. Lessons always arrive when we are ready, and if we can read the signs, we will learn everything we need to know in order to take the next step. We do our best not to accept the immense potential we possess because that would upset our neat little minds. I’ve met so many amazing people that have true courage - turning their backs on the fanaticism of predetermined destiny – which is the only way to put an end to the doubts that trouble our souls. Since traveling, I feel free again, but it's just a feeling – I’ve learned that freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself towards endeavors that are best for me. In NYC, I’ve heard many people speaking the name of freedom, and I’ve realized the more we defended this unique right, the more enslaved we seemed to be to our parents' wishes, to a marriage in which we had promised to stay with the other person for the rest of our lives', to the bathroom scales, to our diet, to half finished projects, to lovers to whom we were incapable of saying "no" or "it's over" when we were obviously miserable. Slaves to luxury. Slaves to the appearance of luxury. Slaves to a life we had not chosen but which we had decided to live bc someone had managed to convince us that it was all for the best. And so our identical days and nights passed in which adventure was just a word in a book or an image on the television that was always on, and whenever a door opened, we would say "I'm not interested" or "I'm not in the mood ... I'm too tired." And parts of that used to be in my life.

I have learned that we are our own greatest surprise – we just have to let go. Let go of the stories we were told as children. Let go of our personal histories. Let go of the fears that suffocate our souls.

So I just thought I would expose myself to all of you and say fuck it.

Ryan